My Favorite Month, December

I just came back from my hall meeting. Our RA told us about all the things and procedures we had to do before we left for our winter break. I loved winter breaks since I was very young because there is Christmas. Christmas always gave me that weird feeling. I don’t know what other holidays don’t give me that feeling and I can’t exactly explain what that feeling is like but it’s just like Christmas “butterfly”.

When I think of Christmas, as a Christian, of course I think of the birth of Jesus. That is the religious aspect. From a worldly view, however, I always relate snow to the Christmas. I think of “jingle bells” and all other Christmas Carols I can think of in my head. I think of trees those are covered with snows and there is a full moon in the sky shining down, partially covered with clouds. This Christmas scene was always in my head, and never changed ever since I was young. Even though that perfect scenario never happened in any of the Christmas, I still dreamed about that scene every Decembers, as I am thinking of that scene right now.

But I think one thing definitely changed about me when it comes to Christmas. It’s the Santa Clause issue. I think when I was about 6 and I was naïve, I actually believed in those Santas. Every December, I listened to my parents and acted really well because I believed that Santa Clauses give presents only to the good kids. So I was a very nice boy in the month of December. I did that because there were always presents in the Christmas morning. Now I know that my dad or mom put it there but when my parents told me that it was Santa Clause, when I was young, who left present there, I actually believed them. I don’t know what my parents tried to do but they either wanted to make me really happy or just transform me into a good kid.

I realized one great transformation about myself as I was growing up. I knew that Santa Clause was a fake by the age of 7. I believe that I was so into believing in Santa Clause because I only thought of myself. I only listened to my parents and tried to be a good kid so I can get MY present not because I actually cared about my parents. As I was growing older, I started to think about others when it comes to the Christmas. Of course I still want the scenes I explained above to actually occur during the Christmas but other than that, I don’t care if I get a present or not. I always start to collect money during the month of December so I can get every member of my family a present. I remember one time when I was pretty young, around 9, and I collected money for weeks so I can get a bag of chocolate for my parents. I thought they would like it because I really liked it and they actually did like it. My parents hugged me and kissed me. I was also happy and that was the first time I exactly felt the word “family”.

I think that the time that kids are starting not to believe in Santas are not because there not naïve as a kid anymore but because they are beoming more mature. As we are young, specifically myself, I think we only care and worry about ourselves. But as we are starting not to believe in Santas, we start to think other before ourselves. Consider if there is a loop around you and you only care things in that loop. As we are young, the loop is very tiny and all you care about it you. As we mature, loops also grow larger and we first start to care about family, relatives, friends, and even the “others”. I think my loop only contains up to my friends so far. Christmas is always a good time to calculate the size of your loop because the people you think of during the Christmas season, I believe, are in your caring loop.

That was my transformation story for the Christmas. Of course, after the Christmas, there is always a New Year. New Year is my second most favorite holiday of the year, right after the Christmas. When I was young, I liked New Year because Korean cultures celebrate it by adults giving out money to young children, wishing them good luck for the fresh year. But I like New Year not because of money anymore. I like New Year because it is a fresh start. It sounds very typical but I really like that fresh start feeling. I think I am going to like it even more because I am in college. Unlike high school where the grades are carried out through out whole year, college is divided into two semesters. Luckily New Year is between those two semesters and I can think about what I did, what I did well or bad, and adjust myself for the better year. I can fix myself for the new semester. That’s why I love writing down New Year’s resolution because I can actually carry out what I have to do and forget about what I did wrong in the past. New Year is the big jump I take every end of the year and I try to make that jump productive.

I love month of December because of Christmas and upcoming New Year. Even this final week, I can go through it without much stress because I think of myself relaxing and celebrating Christmas by the end of the December. Without Christmas or New Year, I think I am going to have really hard time going through these final weeks because I get so much stress. Even though my perspective about these to holidays, especially for Christmas, has changed over the years, my unexplainable feeling towards these holidays did not change. I still get excited and was excited for these holidays and I never want to lose them.

Thanksgiving Break

Last Friday, right after my first class which was like 11:00 am, I packed up my stuff to go home for a week of thanksgiving. I was very excited to go back home even though it takes about four hours of driving. At around 3:00 pm I got on back of my friend’s car and got ready to leave. We made sure that we got couple bottles of drinks and some snacks just in case we get hungry inside of the car. Then we got off the campus and got on the highway. It all seemed good for first two hours; everything went smoothly in terms of the traffic. Then, of course, there was traffic, a huge one. We literally took like two hours to drive couple miles which might have been just thirty minutes without all that traffic. My friends and I were pissed while we were in the car. “God damn, the road has so freakin’ few lanes. Why all those Radford, JMU, and other college kids are leaving today”. We just were pissed. Then from the iPod that was connected to the car came out some crazy songs. We just started to follow the beat and soon forgot about the traffic and sang aloud inside the car.

After going through the traffic, we decided to stop by McDonalds and grab some McChickens and McDoubles. Those were yummy. Then we got back in the car and drove for another two hours ‘til we got to our home. It took about extra two hours of driving because of that gay traffic. When I opened up the door of my home, my mom rushed to me and hugged me. She seemed to miss me a lot. On the other hand, my dad doesn’t express his emotions much but I could tell that he was happy that I was home for the break. The dinner was great. My mom made so many dishes of Korean traditional foods, which I missed a lot, and I ate it like there was no tomorrow. After the dinner it was about 10 pm and I was darn tired. I got on my old comfy bed and slept.

Next day, I got with my friends from the morning. I gathered with my old high school friends because many of them go to different college then me and I missed them. Oh yeah, this was Saturday. We went to theatre and watched 2012. It was not as fun as I expected because there was not really a storyline. It was just a bunch of land cracking and oceans gulfing up the land. Then we ate dinner and I got home and went to sleep. On Sunday, I went to my old church. I was glad to see church members and church friends. We had thanksgiving service so it was awfully long but food afterward was great so that made my day. After eating, my church youth group went to play basketball and after the dinner, I got back home and went to sleep.

According to my planned “schedule”, I was suppose to start studying for the final exam on the Monday of the break since I have like three final exams when I come back to VT. Plus, I was planned to go to Niagara Falls in the Canada from Thursday to Saturday of that week. So I had to start working. Apparently, I could not study for the finals because of all the seductions around me. I mean I still wanted to hang with my old friends more before I go back to VT. So on Monday, I wasted my whole day by hanging out with my friends. But I also wanted to spend my time with my family so I came back home before the dinner and went out to eat with my family.

I really had to start study for the finals on Tuesday since I could not start it on the day before. I stayed home all day on Tuesday but I think I only studied about one hour. I don’t remember what I did specifically but it was not worth remembering of. On Wednesday, I was super excited for the Niagara Falls and I packed up my clothes and other things that were necessary for the travel. Then I thought about what I was risking. I was going to Niagara Falls with my cousins and I had to miss the Thanksgiving Day with my family. That was the downside of this travel but I still wanted to go. Then there was a disaster. I checked my passport and the expiration date on the passport was passed. I was doomed. I called my cousin and said I couldn’t go. My cousin said it was fine but I could tell by his voice that he was kinda pissed because he paid for all the tickets, hotels, and everything.

I suddenly had whole time left of my break. According to my planned “schedule” Thursday, Friday, and Saturday was supposed to be filled up with Niagara Falls trip but it was suddenly free. But now that I think about it, I think my not going to the Niagara Falls was more fortunate. My family did not see me for months and having a Thanksgiving dinner with my family was a great choice. Of course, after the thanksgiving, there is Black Friday in which all the stores sell their production by half prices. I didn’t have any electronics to buy but I wanted to buy some clothes. So my friends and I went to the Tyson’s mall at 1:00am on Friday and managed to buy some clothes and shoes and really cheap price.

On Saturday, I finally started to study for the finals seriously. I don’t know why but I cannot concentrate on any of my school materials unless the deadline is within few days (or few hours like this blog). For dinner I went to Chipotle and it was good. I like Chipotle in my town the best because they know the golden ratio of meat, rice, corn, etc. Other Chipotle stores don’t seem to know the ratio. I packed up to leave for VT in Saturday night and went to sleep. On Sunday noon, I said goodbye to my parents and left my home. On the way to VT it took like seven hours because of this car crash that involved more than 10 cars. Now here I am, back to the college trying to catch up things I had to do over the break for the Final week. God, I'm so tired...